My very personal pursuit of unhappiness…

The belief that one’s own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions.- Paul Watzlawick

Everyone has them. Everyone knows them.
Some share them with others. Some wear them on their sleeve.
Others guard them closely; so closely that it might take months, even years, to get a glimpse of them. But without doubt, everyone has them.
They work well. Seriously well.
Everyone has their own pursuit of unhappiness. Here is mine:


  • Live as your environment, society and rationality want you to live.

    Yes, this works really well. If you constantly perform as others expect you to and want you to, then it’s easy to put your own needs aside. Completely. If you’re really good, you can even learn not to recognise your own needs. You stop living according to your own motives and values, rather preferring to satisfy other’s expectations. Unhappiness is inevitable. You can be certain of this, it works almost every time.

  • Try constantly to improve and fix yourself!

    Strive to be better! Give your best to projects that not only give you no joy, but stress you and make you feel uncomfortable. You’re only valuable if you are better than others!

  • Only blooming flowers deserve your attention, ignore unopened buds.

    Beauty is skin deep. Only colour and fragrance is valuable. Looking beneath the surface is a waste of time. The same applies to places, people, words and feelings.

  • Start your day with hustle and bustle.

    Finish that way as well.

  • Be always accessible

    And productive!

  • Feel guilty!

    Even when you are not responsible. Yes, there is a lot you should feel guilty for. So, so much. Guilt leaves no room for happiness. Jippieh!

  • Ignore your intuition.

    It is based on experience and reflects your inner feelings. Both are useless. Facts are what you need, and you won’t find them in your gut, they’re in your head. Listen to your head!

  • Treat / allow yourself nice things only once you have earned them.

    You must first work hard before you can reward yourself! Work first, pleasure after. Nothing else.

  • Your happiness will only be found in the future.

    Only when you are at this place, together with these people, if you have this job, only then can you be happy!

  • Follow one thought or idea.

    For hours. For days. Let it go round and round in your head. The solution must be in there. In this one thought. In this one idea.

And so it was for me, for years. My personal pursuit of unhappiness. I was so loyal, just as we all are to house rules, to supermarket opening times or school timetables. I didn’t question, I simply accepted. I followed my own rules.

Until I tried something new…

Curious? Will tell you next week what I tried and how it worked.

Yours, Nele

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